el journal de josh

Wed, 08 Apr 2009 06:23:15 GMT

Mon, 30 Mar 2009 15:05:58 GMT

im learning to wake up earlier, while still going to bed late.
im going to die so early oh my god

my new favorite movie....

Sun, 08 Mar 2009 17:54:13 GMT

hm

Sat, 21 Feb 2009 16:42:28 GMT

why does the new U2 sound just like The Arcade Fire?

i know they took Them on tour with them but...........i hope the whole album doesnt sound like that. i like me some arcade fire, dont get me wrong but i dont want history repeating itself after i bought a coldplay cd and felt like i bought a compilation of shit i've been buying from other bands in the past couple of years.

in other news ....

this is cute

im......

Wed, 11 Feb 2009 05:08:19 GMT

not to happy that i've kept having to miss my doctor's appointments

pretty happy that i have something to do this weekend.

not happy that i have to wake up early every day

pretty happy that i got my new speakers connected to my record player

not happy that im probably going to force myself into lonely nights listening to roky erickson

pretty happy that im starting my comic book weekly inbox

not happy that we still cant verify the existence of aliens

pretty happy that i've been working out

not happy that i cant eat healthy all the time

pretty happy that i could careless sometimes if i eat healthy or not

man.

Wed, 21 Jan 2009 05:14:32 GMT

i wish i had a band and all the band members were cats.

we'd be fucking AMAZING!!!
we wouldnt play for money.

we'd be like fugazi, all our shows would be 7 dollars.
and we'd only release our songs on vinyl

and i'd hire this guy
Cool Cat

good-times

Mon, 12 Jan 2009 01:58:19 GMT

holding a ninja sword
then saying the phrase "there can only be one"
then using that sword to chop of the top of a christmas tree
FEELS SOOOO AMAZING!!

i highly suggest it.

i never thought i'd be so happy to stumble upon a video of a japanese tv show
presenting a man wearing black face impersonating Louis Armstrong in a very quirky comedic fashion.

.....he cant even pronounce his "L"s...soooo good!!

:( / :)

Tue, 06 Jan 2009 04:26:33 GMT

today was the first day of work. that ruled. = :)

today was the first day of the new year that i went to practice since we havent practiced in a month. and it totally fucking sucked = :(

i hate feeling like a babysitter.
it'd feel be different about the situation if the songs that im writing were epic masterpieces.
but its seriously 2 goddamn chords.......jesus christ.

recently..........

Tue, 30 Dec 2008 19:57:13 GMT

i have found out that when im completely stressed out and when fustrations have me in the corner, I, like the jewish new yorker, Frances "Baby" Houseman and grammy award winning, Bret McKenzie.......all i wanna do is dance.

ps.
this is frances "baby" houseman

pps.

i've discovered that when you replace "ck" (in words like "sucks") with "gg" it sounds ten times better. even better if your using words that end in "ing" and you take out the "g" at the end.

its best suggested when having a conversation with heavy sexual content.

example A:
"fucking" : "fuggin"..........genius!
"sucking" : "suggin"..........yyyyyeeeeesssssssss
"porking" : "porggin".........its like discovering god...again

example B:
"dick sucking mother fucker! : "digg suggin motherfugger!"....i rest my case

when doing this, somehow people will look at you as if you never graduated past jr high and have no moral respect or decency for yourself or the people around you. its amazing.

it also helps when your holding a colt 45 in a paper bag, wearing a scarf and a leather jacket.......even better if you havent washed your hair (especially if you have curly hair and your growing out your hair, "big curls")......oh man...it would even be better if you had gloves with the fingers cut out!

if you and a friend (guy or girl, prefferebly girl, somehow girls seem to really like playing this game) and you're at a party surrounded by judgemental, pretentious, stuck up pieces of shit and you like the have fun, try it

make me cum faggot.......

Mon, 29 Dec 2008 10:58:13 GMT

so i saw the new brad pitt movie the curious case of benjamin button.

ill tell you what.
the one lesson i did not learn was that love will stand the test of time.

but the lesson i did learn was that im totally gay for brad pitt.

in other news my friends and i got a knife pulled on us at a party for acting "gay" but not before being questioned on our sexual preference, because of course we were hanging out with, what would some like to call "high class".

what a great way to end christmas

Fri, 26 Dec 2008 08:06:41 GMT

i would say i had a pretty good day.

my roommates wanted to go see MARLEY AND ME.

honestly i didnt want to and neither did 90% of the people that went wanted to either.

but the pressure was layed on and i ended up spending way too much money on food and now i feel like shit................not to mention completely fucking depressed.

there's no way i can ever watch that movie again.
they make you fall in love with this fucking dog for you to watch the whole family sob over the dog's death at the end.

the only way i can top off tonight would be to warm up a nice bath.

slit my wrists and bloodlet while playing O Fortuna in the background until my eyes close for the last time.

hopefully i can watch this video enough to bring my spirits back up.

...ugh.......

Tue, 23 Dec 2008 00:58:09 GMT

i hate the fact that im forced to listen to these soundchecks.

no matter what im doing its like i feel i cant really concentrate becuase i have the biggest discouragement ever, terrible terrible music blasting behind me.

sometimes its hard for me to focus anyways but this doesnt help.

sometimes i wish i wasnt here, infact, sometimes i'd rather my son be crucified on a cross then being here for this shit.

its like being severely mentally handycap and the orderly forcing you to touch his dick.

only a couple of more weeks..............only a couple of more weeks.......

im getting old........

Thu, 18 Dec 2008 18:18:42 GMT

so last night i got home around 10.

i went to hang out with my mom and dad because my mom was making food at home.
i dont like passing up a free meal, especially when im briz-oooooke!.

anyways back to what i was about to talk about............

how do i get dragged into this shit?

i was so comfortable laying in bed, when i get a phone call asking me to go with to this night.
yeah i had a bad day, so i thought "fuck it, why not"

....fuck it, why not

after sitting there trying to digest the music that was being played i realized i was probably better off at home finishing the book i'v been trying to finish for the past month..........and maybe listen to some dione warwick instead of some DJ trying to mash up beat it by micheal jackson with living on a prayer by bon jovi (im so over mash ups, i've been over mash ups since viet-fucking-nam), then followed by paper airplanes by mia then followed by mgmt's electric feel remix by justice.

i hate my life

...

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 09:36:12 GMT

its like realizing you have to agree to amputate an infected limb before the infection kills you.
with so much going on in my life that i should be worried about...im consumed.

this too...shall pass.

Wed, 26 Nov 2008 10:27:00 GMT

so gooood!

why does it work that way?

Tue, 04 Nov 2008 09:31:30 GMT

josh,

how come.................

when you dig through certain websites that hold old memories its like confronting a vast swamp. a swamp full of old words that bear certain emotions that have been dead for years.

you have no clue if your going to be eaten alive by alligators or stung by stingrays or chewed to death by piranas.

but you get out alive........to find leaches on you.
you leave the swamp and then all of a sudden a sting, and you look down....another leach........then you look around and you find more.

to the point when you realize, why the fuck did you even go through that fucking swamp in the first place?

you really thought it was a good idea and you could handle it?
you really think it would make you feel better?
you really fucking think that there wasnt another way and that you had to get to the otherside so bad you had to go through the fucking swamp?

congradulations. becuase now, and until they're all gone your going to be spending the rest of the fucking night picking off leaches, picking off memories, thoughts, memories that play in your head like the flashbacks robocop had when he was remembering his shit, or like some kind of fucked up flash back from a movie about a rape victim from some fucked up foreign film

thats what you fucking get. next time...use a goddamn bridge.
if not build a brige and get the fuck over it. you dont have time to be fucking around like this anymore.

-josh

halloweed....

Wed, 29 Oct 2008 01:16:14 GMT

it seems that everyone is vexed on what to be for halloween.

i can see why, its hard to come up with original ideas these days.

especially when you suround yourself with poeple that have a taste for a geniune attainments.

for a while i was a bit worried about what i could be for halloween, then i realized i never really dressed up (not even as a kid)

i was so worried about dressing up and i felt so releaved remembering i dont dress up.........becuase im a fucking adult!

TADOW!

oh man

Thu, 09 Oct 2008 07:42:05 GMT

you ever have sorta of a bad day and feel like your going to have an even worse day the next day?.....

and then!! you want to feel better so you read old live journal posts!?!?! because you havent been on it in so long and your thinking it would help you feel better.

but you realize you were dead fucking wrong becuase your a fucking retard who cant type, spell and forgets to type words so your run on sentances stop making sense near the mid-begining of your paragraph/setence!

holy shit!

its like god punching you in the dick!

.....fuck it.

its been way to long lady........

Thu, 09 Oct 2008 07:02:17 GMT

there are alot of things that i need to catch up on.

first off. i like saying lady to the ladies....i dont know why but i think its not as gross as saying "sweet thang" and unfortunatly im not loren hill so i cant say "baby girl".

so there you have it. i say lady

like. "hey lady!" for some strange reason i think it gives people some sort of esteem boost. i notice a slight glow and i like that. i like making people feel better.

im no sage, im not seeked for my knowledge of the world and the problems in it but i like helping people analyze dreams, i like helping people solve their personal dilemmas. i dont know why, not sure if i completely care abut now i hear so much bad about me i think im trying to make up for it all.

im not saying im a bad guy or i hear that im a bad guy, but i think im just to critical of myself and i beat myself down for doing the slightest wrong to anyone, the funny thing is when i realize i want to do wrong on someone i go all out.

not only will i talk shit to you but ill make you understand logically why im talking shit to you and bringing-ing-ing-ing across the personal understanding that you suck, that way you can say "ah yeah! man! i know...wearing a vest in the mid of summer is the dumbest shit ever i know

i think i look good or i probably just look like a person who thinks he looks good because as everyone else knows fashion is before function and of course i have to be fashionalable or else nobody will fuck me

.........yes thats right my entire night of me wearing these nice shoes with these goodwill pants and this vest with a button up shirt and this gay ass hat and buying all the booze and inviting people to come out and party at the house im renting, or apartment we're all hanging out in in tempe is all an attempt to fill a fucking goddamn void because im not content with who i am.

mother fucker!! you found me out!! but its ok. becuase you apologized and i understand where your coming from, you wear almost the same articles of clothing everyday becuase you are either too lazy or you just dont see the reason in looking for something new to wear because its pointless, its not like your going to get your dick sucked by the queen of fucking england, your going to work in a cave where everyone hates themselves but yet everyone else is jelous of your job because they're fucking stupid

.....i get it. you dont conform.........only because there's nothing to conform to, you hate everything so in a sense your just as bad as me, and you just pointed out your faults, before i even had a chance to point them out becuase ....well, because there's a higher chance im not as analytical as you and im in a small state of happiness because in a way everything is going to plan

think about it....im drinking.....people are here.......and im going to fingerbang this girl who i've been having a conversation with about either music, politics or movies all of which im able to judge each in a way were it looks like i have the highest sense of taste and i am only gratified with anything that is liked the least or liked the most by a smaller more popular groups because im a wanna be elitist hipster faggot"................

ps. i want to shave my head

aaaaannnnd

if anyone likes hanging out...im hanging out this weekend

genghis tron at the phix on the 12th (sunday)

OH MY GOD!! i want to write in you more! live journal!! but i cant!!! i must wait.....till tomorrow:)

Fri, 29 Feb 2008 20:35:05 GMT

weither the true definition of GOALS is wishful thinking, the desire to want something more, for me exists. i've felt like i've been apart of a fool's parade when i put my life in contrast.

having and wanting things that are tangible and accessable through common achievements is awesome, i cant help but feel like i want to create something out of nothing.

im no genius and im only gambling with my own life and reality has a way of making itself evident even through the most stubborn and awesome moments.

if im going to be thinking wishfully im going to do so in spades......im ready to face the consquences when the dream is over.

i wish i was Freddy Kruger, then at least i'd have a rad glove.

when reflecting on....

Mon, 28 Jan 2008 05:33:24 GMT

i only hope that what i did was the right thing to do.

i've made too many mistakes in my life and i couldnt bear to know that hurting someone i cared the most about in my life could be one of them.

i wouldnt say poeple make the best decisions when their inebriated, which leads me to my next though

smoking crack.........its either i give up on the dependency i have when im drunk to say the things i need to say or do the things i need to do or..................do crack and put all my problems in perspective.....

.....like "oh hey, i feel like shit because im in a weird emotional situation with a friend..................but its not as bad as me smoking crack.

or "oh man, finances, this whole learning how to balance what i spend to make sure i can eat at least once a day and pay rent is super fucking hard.................but if i smoked crack and lived on the streets then that just completly destroys a shitload of my worries.....thats like 2 birds 1 stone.com"

that amy winehouse is a fucking genious.

funny story..

Sun, 13 Jan 2008 08:35:34 GMT

bad news always follows good news. why i only realize this now? im probably retarded. i need to prepare myself for moments like these.

in other news i found a picture that pretty much identifies the way i feel when i meet new people.

im hearing more and more stories of how people think im an asshole and it bums me out.
i honestly dont think i have anything interesting to say to most poeple.....unless you know alot about star wars, or if you obsesse over small things for days, like; learning how to make cookies or being able to play turning japanese on guitar, or if you like writing insane run-on sentences, we're probably gonna have a 2 second conversation about sports, politics or a plethora of other things i could honestly careless about, in which i will quickly excuse myself and leave before the person i'm talking to thinks im "uncool", becuase we've been standing there for about 3 secs staring at the ground hearing each other drink our drinks, but in the end it just bites me in the ass becuase im just an asshole.

Mon, 03 Dec 2007 01:04:31 GMT

ill back on this soon. miss it.

Sun, 28 Oct 2007 21:56:44 GMT

i havent been on here in a while just to make a post a couple of days ago.

life is slowing down.
and im getting sick

Tue, 23 Oct 2007 05:59:52 GMT

i moved out

central phoenix

i live with john, elisa, dirty dan

saddie, the dog and emma, the pig

im down